


Nothing is For You

by tragakes (lejf)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Eren Yeager, Established Relationship, M/M, canonverse, edited summary so no spoilers for canon alwubhkdk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 10:59:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lejf/pseuds/tragakes
Summary: Post-serum, after Levi's choice, Levi and Eren talk feelings and have sex.





	Nothing is For You

“You know,” Eren says at the window, kneeling on the bed to look out it. Levi’s unlacing his boots in his chair. “I’m sorry. I really am. I can’t—”

“Cut the shit.” There’s no real venom to his words. Levi just sounds a little tired.

Eren falls quiet but doesn’t seem to want to. His fists clench on the windowsill, and his eyes are focused on some point in the courtyard but not really seeing. Levi puts a boot to the side. “He–“

“No regrets, remember?”

Some form of gentleness in that prompt for an answer makes Eren turn around. Levi is just watching him. Not sharply, nor exasperatedly. Just looking at him where the light falls on his hair and around that curve of his neck to kiss the point between his collarbones. 

“Did you choose Armin for me?”

“I can’t do that, Eren. You know that.” They can't let personal feelings get in the way of professional affairs — Eren had been told that going into their relationship, but he can't help wondering otherwise, because everything about the whole ordeal feels like one extended personal choice. “It was a very real temptation, but it wasn’t for you.”

Levi stands, in front of his desk piled with ordered stacks of papers, in his socks and uniform, every step confident enough to make Eren’s heart quaver. “Get here,” he mutters. Eren shuffles forwards on his knees, until he's grabbed by the shirt and hauled closer.

“It wasn’t for you,” Levi whispers, tucking his head under Eren’s chin, speaking to Eren’s heart. “Nothing about this fucking war is for you. I don’t fight for you. I don’t do anything for you. I can't help it.”

“Captain.” Eren’s words choke in his throat because he understands what Levi's really saying, and while he has his arms around Levi, he’s sure Levi has an iron-fist grip around his heart. “I thought you couldn’t say that.”

“I say whatever the hell I want. But do you hear me? _Nothing_ I do in this war is for you — so don’t put me in that situation ever again.”

“I– I’ll try, captain.” Eren comforts himself with holding Levi there. Levi, who is so deceivingly small, but whose muscles Eren can feel tense under his arms. “I’m sorry.”

Levi doesn’t stop him this time.

“I was just too rash. I thought… Armin dying was just impossible to me.”

“And Erwin dying isn’t impossible to me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.”

“That’s why I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be. I still handled it." Levi shifts minutely. "I’m just asking you to watch out next time.”

“I will. I– I think about you when we’re outside all the time, Captain, but it must not be enough.”

“Oh, really.”

“No, no! It makes me fight harder, so I won’t stop doing it.”

“I think you’ve said as much as necessary,” Levi says, and so Eren falls silent. They sit back against the wall and the bed, where Levi is comfortably in the cross of Eren’s legs, and Eren can bask in the silent knowledge that can both talk about the future because they are both still alive.

Eren’s nearly drifted off, but a light touch to his jaw makes him open his eyes. “Hey.” Levi is staring up at him, eyes unreadable. “Come here. I have a secret.”

Eren tilts his head down to listen. The next moment, Levi’s lips are against his, sweet but commanding, a hand reaching up to bury itself in Eren’s hair and keep Eren there. A noise frees itself from Eren’s throat, something related to a groan with the way he feels heat light up throughout his body instantly. “Levi,” he manages, in a loose breath between them before they’re kissing again, tipping down onto the bed where they can press their bodies closer to eliminate that space between them.

Levi leaves a nip at his lower lip, and Eren tries to chase the kiss once Levi pulls back. Levi looks darkly amused about it. He turns them slightly so that he straddles Eren’s chest, unbuttoning his shirt as he does, revealing more and more skin, downwards. “Yes,” Eren says to a wordless question, “me.” He gets a chaste kiss for that, a moment of the warmth of Levi’s breath, before Levi is kissing down his jaw and neck, removing his clothes and planting a kiss everywhere that is revealed, leaving a line of heat tracing Eren’s torso. Everything about Levi is gorgeous. Eren can’t help running his hands over Levi’s shoulders, arms, back, any part of him, in reverence. He cups Levi’s cheek and Levi looks up, eyes smouldering, and Eren’s knees go weak; then his trousers are freed for his cock to be revealed, drooling against his stomach, flushed and red and almost unbearable.

His hips jerk up when Levi gives it a cursory tug as he passes, but he definitely hears Levi give a small snort at it. He tries to sit up, but a hand on his chest stops him, and a flick to the nipple for good measure. Eren gasps and glares for that, but Levi simply sits on his legs a little smugly, folding their trousers and placing them to the side where the rest of their clothes have gone. 

A beckoning gesture from Levi prompts Eren to lift his legs up — and no matter how many times he’s done this or watched Levi do this without batting an eye, his can’t help but flush a little at being so exposed under Levi’s gaze. Glancing up, though, Levi’s face is surprisingly emotive. The permanent crease of concern between his eyebrows is gone, and the raw adoration there dispels Eren’s embarrassment instantly.

Levi reaches for to their bedside drawer while Eren shuffles up the bed some, trying to get more comfortable, toying with himself while Levi dribbles oil over his hands. Then there’s a finger pressing at his entrance and Levi is leaning over him, his other hand gently prying Eren’s off from where he’d been loosely stroking himself, kissing him until both their eyes flutter shut. Sensation is narrowed down to where Levi’s finger is stretching him; where their hands are intertwined against the bed; and where Levi’s lips are moving against his, a flash of tongue against his teeth.

They lose themselves like that, Levi’s head tipped to an angle to kiss him more deeply. Eren has his other hand around the back of Levi’s neck, fingers brushing against the short-cropped hair there, pausing briefly over that spot that — if Levi was a titan — would slay him. He imagines for a second having to choose a serum between Mikasa and Armin and Levi, and he finds that it’s impossible. Any choice would leave him laden with regret, and maybe it’s crazy and awfully stupid but he can’t help but feel relieved he’ll never have to make that choice, because Levi and Mikasa can’t become titans. 

Levi’s eyes are open and looking into his. He must see something there, because he rests their foreheads together for a moment before he draws back and Eren realises Levi’s had a few more fingers in him up to this point. Levi pushes in slow. He gives Eren room to object if he needs to, but Eren bears down and takes it all, inch by inch, easied into and being spread him around Levi. When Levi bottoms out, Eren is clenching and fidgeting around him, half in anticipation and half with something else. 

Levi begins to thrust and Eren can’t stop his noises, groans that are low and throaty. He loses his senses somewhere throughout. His head tips back onto the pillow, but he’s not sure when he made that decision, nor when his eyes are fluttering open and shut of their own volition because Levi’s hips keep driving forwards until the bed sways and Levi himself is making small grunts with each move. Light sheens on his skin and Levi’s hand is like a brand against his chest, rolling a nipple between his fingers, a mouth hot over his, another hand against his dick and jerking it fast, his own hands somewhere scrabbling at Levi’s back where it’s wet with sweat, his legs hooked over Levi’s hips tightly.

Maybe he’s saying something too, but Eren loses his words and all he knows is an incoherent blur of pleasure and striving to be closer and closer — to Levi, maybe, but Levi is certainly in the centre of it all, driving into him for a time between eternity and no time at all until it’s too much and Eren comes between them in a hot wet spurt and Levi is following soon after as Eren ripples around him, “ _Eren!_ ” somewhere possibly in his imagination before Levi’s coming deep, every muscle in his body tautening. It’s a sight Eren burns into his eyes before his mind burns out completely blank and white.

 

Some time later, Eren has fallen asleep. 

The sun has hidden away and Levi makes to carefully slip out from where a heavy arm has settled over his shoulders. But he stops. And he looks, where Eren’s head is tipped back against the pillow, eyelashes quivering with some dream he’s seeing, lips pale and parted slightly, a breath and a wish half-fallen from them.

Levi puts the arm back. He lays there as the night falls deeper, listening to Eren’s heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest, metronomes to which he can’t help listening. Fuck. Remaining impartial on the battlefield is an impossible dream, but he knows it’s a consequence he’s willing to take.

If only it could always be so easy as this. 

_Goodnight, Erwin_ , he thinks, a little bitterly, but possibly not bitterly enough. While Erwin is dead, Levi is here, his shoulders getting cold where the blankets don’t reach. It leaves a disgusting taste in his mouth, but then Eren makes a snuffling noise and clings closer and he finds himself giving a rueful smile instead, lifting a hand to the hair that’s fallen across Eren’s face.

No regrets. Isn’t that right, Erwin? 

He feels himself peeling the decision away from him, shedding it as just another skin that's eaten up in the huge cogs of the world that never cease to turn. If Levi stops moving, he’ll be swallowed alive. He has to continue. He must. If he doesn’t, he’ll lose more than Erwin. He’ll lose Eren. He'll lose another wall. He'll lose everybody and everything.

Outside, the night thunders soundlessly on. The moon rises. Titans and humans alike howl to it.

**Author's Note:**

> for a friend :( goodby
> 
>  
> 
> also props to thisgirlsays22 for naming the fic


End file.
